In the cult I was in, as in many cults, we considered ourselves superior to all others. We were taught that this was the ony authentic, fastest path to salvation, with an authentic tantric guru. We thought that our extreem spiritual practices made us better people, yet many in the cult were judgemental, uncaring and neurotic. Judgement and public humiliation were both rife and systematic.
The guru passed judgement on all other gurus living and dead (including the Buddha!) When I first joined this seemed ridiculous to me and was a big red flag. But, wanting to fit in with the community and wanting to believe this path would work, I overlooked it.
With time, I became very judgmental myself; constantly judging the ‘frequency’ or ‘resonance’ of everyone I came across.
We were told that being in places, consuming things or being with people who were low resonance would lower our own frequency, as if by contagion. What they forgot, of course, is that the highest frequency is unconditional love and annexing people from your life through judgement and fear that they’ll somehow ‘contaminate’ you is not love. This lead to much separation and fear.
This is one of the goals of any cult; to separate followers from their family, friends and others outside the cult, and thus reduce their potential influence on the cult member, especially in terms of alerting them to their concerns about the cult.
Another benefit of judgment and separation is to devalue the opinions of others, from friends and family to other gurus or spiritual groups. The narrative and opinion of the cult (and cult-sanctioned sources) becomes the only valid one, as in any form of authoritarianism.
It also creates a sense of 'specialness' amongst followers, and makes them feel united in their righteous jusgement of others, It is a comfort to feel that others share 'your opinions' and understand you.
6 months before I left the cult I realised that this was a way in which I had changed; I’d become very judgmental. When by nature I am warm, accepting and can get on with most people.
As I left and began to be less afraid of the things they’d taught me to fear, my joy for life returned. As did the trust in myself and my Intuition in any given situation; a trust that I’d outsourced and an intuition that I’d systematically been taught to disregard in order to ‘overcome my limitations’.
I became less judgemental again, and as I did I shed fear and my heart opened. I could feel intense love walking down the street, no hours of spiritual practice needed, it just happened.
I could find the quiet core, the spiritual, in all everyday situations.
It has not been easy. Some days the judgement and the thought patterns creep back in. When they do, I notice how much my ego grows with any sense of purity or ‘better ness’.
I’ve come to believe that certain core actions and attitudes make us free, en light en us, literally. These are simple and are a universal birthright. Acceptance and non judgement is one of these.
If you want to know more about my recovery journey or how I can share these core actions/attitudes with you in a personalised coaching mentorship please get In touch.